What if I Said I Love You?
by My Insolence
Summary: reposted Now a oneshot, and much better than before! James has been having trouble getting over Lily, but with the help of the loyal Marauders, a friendly veela and the boringness of a History of Magic class, his troubles may be over! Please R&R!


Reposted because I decided to make it a humongous oneshot. For some reason, the idea of chapters gave me a headache and writer's block. Inspiration then struck. This was originally supposed to stretch across a longer timespace, but I decided against it. Enjoy, and remember: reviews are a _**GOOD**_ thing!

* * *

Her voice was like the chorus of a thousand angels, so sweet and soft, lovely in its perfection, filled with hope, joy and love as her beautiful emerald eyes fixed on his own hazel eyes, her lips soft and velvety as they pressed against his, her hair smooth and silky as he ran his hand through it, her hips-

"OI! PRONGS!" James started, rolled over, and let out a very un-manly screech as he met the ground with a loud THUMP. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, reaching up for his glasses on his bedside table. When he finally found them and pushed them up on the bridge of his nose, he found that he was on the floor of the Gryffindor 7th year boy's dormitory, wrapped like a caterpillar in a cocoon in his blankets, which had apparently fallen off the bed with him.

He looked up to see a boy with sparkling gray eyes full of mirth and dark hair that fell casually over his face, doubled over with laughter. "You should've seen your face! And that noise you made!" The boy howled, his voice choked with laughter. "I don't think a 1st year girl could've hit that high note, mate!"

James squirmed out of his blanket-shackles and stood up. In all of his 6-foot-2 glory, he appeared much more poised. For the love of Merlin, he was a 17-year-old boy! Wait, not boy, man. Yes, definitely man. A 17-year-old man who needed to nurse his wounded pride. He walked over to the laughing teen and whacked him over the head. "Shut up, Padfoot." He growled.

The teen straightened up and wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes. "Dream of Lilykins again?" He asked, his eyes sparkling mischievously. James's face caught on fire. "N-no! What would make you say that?" He mumbled. "Oh, only the way you talk in your sleep!" The boy collapsed on the floor in a pretend sleep, writhing and groaning "Shag me, baby, shag me!" James didn't know that a human's face could go as red as he expected his to be right now.

However, a sandy-haired boy with deep brown eyes came out of the bathroom and kicked the groaning teen in the head. "Shut it, Sirius. You know very well that wasn't what he was doing." The boy let out a squeal of indignation and stood up.

"You're no fun, Moony. Didn't you see his face? He was as red as a certain Head Girl's hair!" James chose to ignore this comment and turned to the new boy. "Thanks, Remus." He said in a relieved voice. "No problem, Prongs. But it is a good thing that you decided to sleep in here tonight. If you had been in the Head's dorm, Lily surely would have heard you yelling her name in your sleep while you snogged your pillow." Remus ducked James's slap and joined Sirius in another fit of laughter.

"Oh, shut up, you two." He growled. James barged past the two into the bathroom to take a shower, trying to forget the certain images of Lily that his teenage mind seemed to be conjuring up lately.

* * *

James let out a groan. His head was throbbing from where he'd hit it on the floor and the fact that a brilliant purple bruise had formed directly in the middle of his forehead wasn't exactly the highlight of his day. "You ought to eat something, mate." Remus said, buttering a piece of toast himself while the 3 teens ate breakfast in Great Hall. James looked up. "Not hungry." Sirius opened his mouth to sleep, but James cut him off. "No, Padfoot, I am not on a hunger strike while I'm pining for Lily or something of equal stupidity that your inferior mind has conjured up." Sirius pouted, but returned to his huge breakfast.

"Morning." Said a slightly pudgy boy with a pointed nose and mousy **(A/N: no pun intended.) **brown hair. "Morning, Peter." Remus said cheerfully. Sirius waved a greeting, as his mouth was full of every kind of breakfast food imaginable. However, James didn't even lift his head from where it was resting on his hands.

. "What's with him? Did I do something wrong?" Peter asked in his squeaky voice. Remus shook his head. "No, he's just a bit put out. He won't tell us why, though."

James opened one eye to peek at his friends. He hated to worry them, but the reason he didn't tell them what was eating him was that he wasn't sure what it was himself. Lately, he had been feeling restless, short-fused and temperamental. It had gone to the point that Sirius had pulled him off to the side and asked James if he had PMS. James hadn't been amused. He just had a yearning in his chest, as if he had to do something, something important. It was eating away at him from the inside, and James didn't know what to do about it. Even worse was the fact that anytime Lily was near, the feeling increased tenfold. James groaned again and rubbed his bruised forehead.

"Hey, Potter!" James's head popped up at the familiar voice, and a snarl rose in his throat. Severus Snape and a few of his fellow Slytherins had ventured over to the Gryffindor table, all wearing identical sneers. Again, Snape spoke. "Who gave you that bruise, Potter? They deserve an award for special services to the school for at least trying to deflate your overly-inflated head."

James leapt to his feet, shoving his hand into his pocket to retrieve his wand. However, a streak of red sped through the hall and practically knocked him over. Lily Evans grabbed his wrist, restraining him. "Will you calm down, James!" She hissed in his ear as he struggled against her

The sound of her voice so close to him and her touch on his wrist stopped him. James suddenly felt strangely light-headed. "Mr. Potter! If you are finished with your breakfast, please proceed to class!" A sharp voice cut through the hall. James whipped around to see Professor McGonagall staring at him expectantly. "Right." James mumbled, reaching for his book bag.

Lily released his wrist. "You've really got to learn to contain that temper of yours, James." Lily said, a small smile playing on her lips. James feigned shock. "MY temper! Have you ever _seen_ yourself angry?" Lily stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, Lily, very mature." James said, grinning. Lily pouted, her emerald eyes sparkling.

James rolled his eyes and turned to his friends, who were sitting nearby. They had the distinct expressions of those who had hurriedly pretended not to be eavesdropping. "You guys coming?" Remus nodded and picked up his own bag, while Sirius and Peter simply continued to shovel food into their mouths.

Rolling his eyes again, James turned to Lily. "Care to join us on our venture to the unknown territory of the History of Magic classroom, fair maiden?" It was Lily's turn to roll her eyes. "Sorry, valiant knight Blockhead, but you and Sir Bookworm here are going to have to venture to the hidden land of the evil Lord Binns without me. I promised Alice and Emmeline I'd wait for them." Turning on her heel, Lily started back to her friends.

James and Remus started out of the Hall. They were just starting a spirited debate on whether Professor Binns died from old age or from the boredom of his own subject ("You can't die from boredom, James, it's physically impossible.") when a familiar blond came running up to them. "Morning, boys!" She said brightly. James grinned. "Morning, Leila."

Leila Phillipa, French Gryffindor 7th year, Chaser on the Quidditch team, veela and prankster extraordinaire was a close friend of the Marauders. They all considered her a little sister. By some twist of fate, she was also a close friend of Lily's. James remembered when he and Lily had practically been waging war, and how Leila had been in the middle. However, at the thought of Lily, James's face darkened.

"What's with him?" Leila asked Remus, looking at James with concern. Remus shook his head. "No clue. And good luck getting it out of him." Leila dropped the subject and began chatting with them about recent werewolf hearings. Being a veela, Leila held the power of transformation, which she sometimes used to run with the Marauders on full moons.

When the bell to start class rang, James was sitting next to Sirius, behind Leila and Lily. Remus and Peter were seated at the table to their left, behind Emmeline and Alice. James had just started to doze off when a note hit him in the nose. He looked up to see Leila looking back at him expectantly. James opened the note.

_You really should tell her, you know._

Furrowing his eyebrows, James looked up to see Leila gesturing to Lily, who was too busy taking notes to notice. James scribbled down a reply and flicked the note back to Leila.

**I don't know what you're talking about.**

_Yeah, sure._

**Really!**

_Sweetie, I can read your mind. I'm female. It's what I do._

_You're in love, you moron!_

James looked up to see Leila glaring at him. As soon as she caught his gaze, she mouthed 'tell her!' while gesturing to an oblivious Lily.

**I can't.**

_**Why not?**_

**Sirius, stop intercepting my notes!**

_**Answer the question.**_

**Why should I?**

_Because I'll hurt you if you don't._

**Yeah, right.**

James looked up to see Leila reaching for her wand. James quickly made a 'stop' gesture. Leila had proved her skills in dueling more than once.

**Because I'm afraid.**

_**Of what?**_

_Of getting hurt, of course!_

_**Really?**_

**I guess you really can read my mind.**

_**What, are you afraid she's gonna hex you or something?**_

_No, you dolt, he's afraid of having his heart broken._

**Lily and I just got on talking terms this year. Less than a year ago, she couldn't stand being near me.**

_What makes you say that?_

James stared at her incredulously.

**The fact that she screamed it every chance she got.**

_James, she hated how arrogant you acted. Not you. Just the way you acted around her._

**What's the difference?**

There's a big one.

_Thank you, Remus. You see, you acted totally out of character around her. It was as if someone had cast the Imperious curse on you._

_**True. You never acted nearly as cocky and conceited when she wasn't around, Prongs.**_

Conceited. Big word for you, Padfoot.

_**Oh, shut up!**_

_CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO HELPING JAMES GAIN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!_

_**Sorry, Mum.**_

Leila let out an audible sigh.

**What can I do, Lae?**

_Just talk to her. Be yourself and let it flow._

_**Good luck, mate!**_

Yes, James, good luck!

James took a deep breath and took out a fresh piece of parchment. He scribbled a note on it and tossed it at Lily. She picked it up off the desk and opened it.

**Hello, Lily.**

_Hi, James. You need something?_

**Nah, I just want to talk.**

_All right then, just a second._

James saw Lily cast a self note-taking spell on her quill. Why she hadn't done that in the first place, James wasn't sure, but maybe Lily enjoyed taking notes. James shuddered at the thought.

_OK, what's up?_

**I wanted to ask you something.**

_OK…_

**I know I've asked this about a million times, but this time I really, really mean it, Lily. I haven't asked you in a very long time, but I just have to. Lily, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?**

…

**Well?**

_James, I don't know what to say._

**How about yes?**

_I'm sorry, James, but the answer is no._

**What? Why?**

_I have my reasons, James._

**I do believe that I have the right to know why I'm never good enough for you, Lily.**

_James, it's not like that._

**Yes, it is. I change myself to suit you. I spent the whole summer promising myself that I would be a better person so you wouldn't hate me and so I could have a chance with you. But I guess that was just all a waste of time.**

_Really, James, it's not like that._

**Then what is it like, Lily?**

_It's the fact that it would never work out._

**Why not?**

_Because it just wouldn't, James._

**How would you know if you don't even give me a chance?**

_Because._

**What?**

_Because._

**Oh, I get it. You'd be ashamed of me. The great Lily Evans, going out with the joker, the prankster James Potter.**

_That's not it either, James, I swear._

**Than what is it, Lily? Care to clue me in?**

…

**Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.**

_It's not something you're doing wrong._

**Then what is it?**

_It's me._

…

_I don't know. I'm sorry James, but all I know is that we can't be together._

**You're lying.**

_No, I'm not!_

**Yes, you are. Care to tell me why, Lily?**

…

**Wait. I think I see what's going on.**

**You do like me. You're just too damn proud to admit it.**

_No, James, that isn't it!_

**Yes, it is. The great Lily Evans is too proud to admit that she finally, after all these years, fell for James Potter.**

_THAT'S NOT IT!_

**Then what is it, Lily?**

_It's that I'm afraid._

**Of what?**

_Of losing you._

**What?**

_Everyone I care about I lose. I lost my sister's love when I got my Hogwarts letter. I lost my parents to Voldemort. I can't take any more loss._

**Lily, it won't ever be like that.**

James realized that there were tears falling down Lily's cheeks, and found his own vision to be blurry. Sirius was giving him puzzled looks in the middle of his rapid exchange of notes with Leila.

_There's nothing you can say that will change my mind._

**Nothing?**

_Nothing, James._

**What if I said I love you?**

James took a deep breath. It was now or never.

**Ever since I laid eyes on you, I've been entranced by you, Lily. You're smart, kind, funny and beautiful beyond all laws of nature in my eyes. I can't live without you, Lily Evans. I truly and honestly love you.**

James heard Lily's breath catch. All of a sudden, she spun around in her chair, leaned towards him and kissed him.

It was if the final piece in a life-long puzzle had finally been found. The searching feeling was gone, and in its place was a love stronger than James had ever felt before. When they broke apart, their eyes locked, hazel to emerald. All of a sudden, there was a roar of applause. Sirius jumped up and pounded James on the back while Leila, Alice and Emmeline tackled Lily, screaming. Then Lily turned back to James, stood on her toes and whispered in his ear. "I love you, too." And he kissed her again, to more applause, screams and Professor Binns's monotone as he droned on and on about the goblin rebellions of the 1600's, oblivious to the historical event unraveling itself in his classroom.

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Loved it? Hated it? Want to send me virtual love letters? Want to come after me with torches and pitchforks? Please review and let me know!


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